1. Log on, wait a sec, then get a frightened look on your face & scream, "Oh my God! They've found me!" and bolt.

2. Laugh uncontrollably for about 3 minutes then suddenly stop & look suspiciously at everyone who looks at you.

3. Type frantically, often stopping to look at the person next to you evilly.

4. Work normally for awhile. Suddenly look amazingly startled by something on the screen & crawl underneath the desk.

5. Every time you press Return & there is processing time required, pray, "Ohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohplease," & scream "YES!" when it finishes.

6. "DISK FIGHT!"

7. Try to stick a Nintendo cartridge into the 3 1/2" disk drive. When it doesn't work, complain to the supervisor.

8. Take the keyboard & sit under the computer. Type up your paper like this. Then go to the lab supervisor & complain about the bad working conditions.

9. Bring some dry ice & make it look like your computer is smoking.

10. Laugh hysterically, shout "You will all perish in flames!" & continue working.

11. Borrow someone else's keyboard by reaching over, saying "Excuse me, mind if I borrow this for a sec?", unplugging the keyboard & taking it.

12. When doing calculations, pull out an abacus & say that sometimes the old ways are best.

13. Remove your disk from the drive & hide it. Go to the lab monitor & complain that your computer ate your disk. (For special effects, put some Elmer's glue on or around the disk drive. Claim that the computer is drooling.)

14. Before anyone else is in the lab, connect each computer with a different screen than the one it's set up with.

15. Attempt to eat your computer's mouse.

top