DUMB BLONDE JOKES
How do you get a sparkle in a blonde eye?
Shine a flashlight in her ear.
What's the first thing a blonde does when she wakes up in the morning?
She goes home.
How does a blonde turn on the light after sex?
She opens the car door.
How can you tell if a blonde has been working on the computer?
There's whiteout on the screen.
How can you make a blonde laugh on Monday?
Tell her a joke on Friday.
Why do blondes have "TGIF" on their running shoes?
To remind them that Toes Go In First.
What do blondes put behind their ears to attract men?
Their ankles.
Why do blondes wear panties?
To keep their ankles warm.
What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
Gifted.
What do you call a blonde with four beers in front of her?
Foreplay.
What do a blonde and a beer bottle have in common?
Both are empty from the neck up.
Why can't blondes make chocolate chip cookies?
They have a problem peeling the M&M's.
What do you get when you line four blondes up ear-to-ear?
A wind tunnel.
What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
Is it mine?
What do you get when you put 20 blondes in a circle?
A dope ring.
What does a blonde say when you blow in her ear?
She asks for a refill.
How do you get a blonde to marry you?
Tell her she's pregnant.
How do you drown a blonde?
Put a scratch and sniff on the bottom of the bathtub.
What does a blonde say after sex?
Are you guys on the same team?
Why don't blondes like to eat pickles?
Their heads get stuck in the jar.
How do you know when a blonde is stressed?
There's a tampon behind her ear and who knows where the pencil is.
What do you call a group of blondes in a freezer?
Frosted flakes.
Why did the blonde climb over the chain link fence?
To see what was on the other side.
What do blondes and computers have in common?
You never appreciate them until they go down on you.
What is the difference between a smart blonde and bigfoot?
Bigfoot has been spotted.
What do blondes and screen doors have in common?
The harder you slam them, the looser they get.
Why don't blondes like to make Kool-Aid?
They can't fit eight quarts of water in that little package.
Want to totally confuse a blonde?
Give her a package of M&M's and tell her to put them in alphabetical
order.
What do blondes and cow pies have in common?
The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.
What do blondes and turtles have in common?
Once they're on their backs, they're screwed.
What's the mating call of a blonde?
I think I'm drunk.
Why do blondes wash their hair in the kitchen sink?
That's where you wash vegetables.
What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back.
Why do blondes like tilt steering?
More head room.
What do you call a zit on a blonde's butt?
A brain tumor.
What's the advantage to being married to a blonde?
You can park in the handicapped zone.
Why do blondes wear shoulder pads?
I don't know. I don't know.
Why did the blonde cross the road?
Never mind that, what was she doing out of the bedroom?
What do you call a brunette between two blondes?
An interpreter.
If a blonde and brunette both jumped off a building at the same
time, who would land first?
The brunette, the blonde would have to stop and ask directions.
Two blondes were walking along and came to some tracks. One blonde
said, "these look like deer tracks," and the other said "No, they
look like moose tracks."
They were still arguing when the train hit them.
What did the blonde name her pet zebra?
Spot.
How is a dumb blond different from a 747?
Not everyone has been in a 747.
Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory?
She kept throwing away the W's.
How many blondes does it take to make chocolate chip cookies?
Five, One to stir the batter and four to skin the M&M's.
Why do blondes wear green lipstick?
Because everyone knows red means stop.
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