HOW DOGS AND MEN ARE THE SAME

Both take up too much space on the bed.

Both have irrational tears about vacuum cleaning.

Both are threatened by their own kind.

Both mark their territory.

Both are bad at asking you questions.

Neither tells you what's bothering them.

The smaller ones tend to be more nervous.

Neither does any dishes.

Both fart shamelessly.

Neither of them notice when you get your hair cut.

Both like dominance games.

Both are suspicious of the postman.

Neither knows how to talk on the telephone.

Neither understands what you see in cats.

Dogs do not have problems expressing affection in public.

Dogs miss you when yor're gone.

Dogs feel guilt when they've done something wrong.

Dogs don't criticize your friends.

Dogs admit when they're jealous.

Dogs are very direct about wanting to go out.

Dogs do not play games with you--except fetch (and they never laugh at how you throw).

Dogs don't feel threatened by your intelligence.

You can train a dog.

The worst social disease you can get from dogs is fleas. (OK-

The really worst disease you can get from them is rabies, but there's a vaccine for it, and you get to kill the one that gave it to you).

Dogs understand what "no" means.

Middle-aged dogs don't feel the need to abandon you for a younger owner.

Dogs aren't threatened if you earn more than they do.

Dogs mean it when they kiss you.

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