Subject: Government announcement...
Now that the Labour party has been elected in the UK, there are some
announcements to be made with regard to the European community.
Neil Kinnock through the European Union commissioners board has
announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the
preferred language for European communications, rather than German,
which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that
English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a
five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for
short).
In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c".
Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. Also, the
hard "c" will be replaced with "k". Not only will this klear up konfusion,
but typewriters kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik emthusiasm in the sekond year, when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced by "f". This will make words like
"fotograf" 20 per sent shorter.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be
expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have
always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the
horible mes of silent "e"s in the languag is disgrasful, and they hav
to go.
By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing
"th" by z" and "w" by " v". During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be
dropd from vords kontaining "ou", and similar changes vud of kors be
aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.
After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be
no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand
ech ozer.
Ze drem vil finali kum tru.
Europe Uber alles!
73 Alan
***
Alan Baker (G3KFN)
Plymouth, England
email: alan@g3kfn.ndirect.co.uk
*** BakerSoft Web Site: TNC's and Amateur info ***
http://www.ndirect.co.uk/~thebakers
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