On Lawyers and Politics

My Attorney is brilliant. He didn't bother graduating from law school. He settled out of class !!!

Only a lawyer could write documents with more than ten thousand words and call them briefs !!!

"Do you believe in capital punishment ???"
"Only if it's not to severe !!!"

A Lawyer comes in handy when a felon needs a friend.

A man walks past a grave and reads the writing on the tombstone. It says, "Here lies an attorney and an honest man."
The man muses, "How did they get two of them in one Grave ???"

One lawyer's client believed in reincarnation. In his will he left everything to himself !!!

The most important thing in a campaigning is sincerity, whether you mean it or not !

"Sir, if elected, what will you do about the prostitution bill ?"
"I'll pay it !!!"

A political machine is a device invented by men who don't like to work !

You don't have to fool all of the people all of the time. During an election is just about often enough.

It was shortly before the election. Reporters seemed to be having trouble getting one candidate to give straight answerers to questions. Finally they corned him and demanded a straight response to any question, not necessarily even a political question.
One reporter asked, "What is your favorite color? You can give us a straight answer to that, can't you ?
" The candidate said, "Certainly. My favorite color is plaid !"

Our candidate for Congress always puts his best foot forward -- as soon as
he can get it out of his mouth !

Nowadays a politician is a guy who divides his time between running for office and running for cover.

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