A few simple jokes to get the Monday morning going.


Little Johnny is passing his parents' bedroom in the middle of the
night, in search of a glass of water.  Hearing a lot of moaning and
thumping, he peeks in and catches his folks in The Act.  Before dad can
even react, Little Johnny exclaims "Oh, boy!  Horsie ride!  Daddy, can I
ride on your back?"
Daddy, relieved that Johnny's not asking more uncomfortable questions,
and seeing the opportunity not to break his stride, agrees.  Johnny hops
on and daddy starts going going at it again. Pretty soon mommy starts
moaning and gasping.  Johnny cries out "Hang on tight, Daddy!  This is
the part where me and the milkman usually get bucked off!"

Little Johnny was sitting in class one day.  All of the sudden, he
needed to go to the bathroom.  He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need to
take a piss!!"
The teacher replied, "Now, Johnny, that is NOT the proper word to use in
this situation.  The correct word you want to use is 'urinate.' Please
use the word 'urinate' in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you to
go."
Little Johnny thinks for a bit, then says, "You're an eight, but if you
had bigger tits, you'd be a ten!!!"

A few months after his parents were divorced, little Johnny passed by
his mom's bedroom and saw her rubbing her body and moaning, "I need a
man, I need a man!"
Over the next couple of months, he saw her doing this several times.
One day, he came home from school and heard her moaning.  When he
peeked into her bedroom, he saw a man on top of her.  Little Johnny
ran into his room, took off his clothes, threw himself on his bed,
started stroking himself, and moaning, "Ohh, I need a bike!  I need a
bike!"

One day, the teacher walks into her classroom and announces to the class
that on each Friday, she will ask a question to the class and anyone who
answers correctly doesn't have to go to school the following Monday.
On the first Friday, the teacher asks, "How many grains of sand are in
the beach?"  Needless to say, no one could answer.
The following Friday, the teacher asks the class, "How many stars are in
the sky?" and again no one could answer.  Frustrated, little Johnny
decides that the next Friday, he would somehow answer the question and
get a 3 day weekend.
So Thursday night, Johnny takes two ping-pong balls and paints them
black.  The next day, he brings them to school in a paper bag.  At the
end of the day, just when the teacher says, "Here's this week's
question."
Johnny empties the bag to the floor sending the ping-pong balls rolling
to the front of the room.  Because they are young kids who find any
disruption of class amusing, the entire class starts laughing.
The teacher says, "Okay, who's the comedian with the black balls?"
Immediately, little Johnny stands up and says, "Bill Cosby, see ya on
Tuesday!"

HAVE A GOOD WEEK !

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