Administratium
The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered
by
investigators at a major U.S. research university. The element,
tenatively named administratium, has no protons or electrons and
thus has an atomic number of 0. However, it does have one
neutron,
125 assistant neutrons, 75 vice neutrons and 111 assistant vice
neutrons, which gives it an atomic mass of 312. These 312
particles
are held together by a force that involves the continuous
exchange of
meson-like particles called morons.
Since it has no electrons, administratium is inert. However it
can
be detected chemically as it impedes every reaction it comes in
contact
with. According to the discoverers, a minute amount of
administratium
causes one reaction to take over four days to complete when it
would have
normally occurred in less than a second.
Administratium has a normal half-life of approxmiately three
years,
at which time it does not decay, but instead undergoes a
reorganization
in which assistant neutrons, vice neutrons and assistant vice
neutrons
exchange places. Some studies have shown that the atomic mass
actually
increases after each reorganization. Research at other
laboratories
indicates that administratium occurs naturally in the atmosphere.
It
tends to concentrate at certain points such as government
agencies,
large corporations, and universities. It can usually be found in
the
newest, best appointed, and best maintained buildings.
Scientists point out that administratium is know to be toxic
at any level
of concentration and can easily destroy any productive reaction
where
it is allowed to accumulate. Attempts are being made to determine
how
administratium can be controlled to prevent irreversible damage,
but
results to date are not promising.
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