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Dear Sir:
This letter is in response to your recent letter requesting a
more
detailed explanation concerning my recent internment at Methodist
Hospital.
Specifically, you asked for an explanation in reference to Block
21(a)(3) of
the claim form (reason for hospital visit). On the original form,
I put
``Stupidity''. I realize now that this answer was somewhat vague
and so I
will attempt to more fully explain the circumstances leading up
to my
hospitalization.
I had needed to use the restroom and had just finished a quick
bite
to eat at the local burger joint. I entered the bathroom, took
care of my
business, and just prior to the moment in which I had planned to
raise my
trousers, the locked case that prevents theft of the toilet paper
in such
places came undone and, feeling it striking my knee,
unthinkingly, I
immediately, and with unnecessary force, returned the lid back to
its
normal position.
Unfortunately, as I did this I also turned and certain parts
of my
body, which were still exposed, were trapped between the device's
lid and
its main body. Feeling such intense and immediate pain caused me
to jump
back. It quickly came to my attention that, when one's privates
are firmly
attached to an unmovable object, it is not a good idea to jump in
the
opposite direction.
Upon recovering some of my senses, I attempted to reopen the
lid.
However, my slamming of it had been sufficient to allow the
locking
mechanism to engage. I then proceeded to get a hold on my pants
and
subsequently removed my keys from them. I intended to try to
force the lock
of the device open with one of my keys; thus extricating myself.
Unfortunately, when I attempted this, my key broke in the
lock.
Embarrassment of someone seeing me in this unique position became
a minor
concern, and I began to call for help in as much of a calm and
rational
manner as I could. An employee from the restaurant quickly
arrived and
decided that this was a problem requiring the attention of the
store manager
.
Betty, the manager, came quickly. She attempted to unlock the
device with her keys. Since I had broken my key off in the
device, she
could not get her key in. Seeing no other solution, she called
the EMS (as
indicated on your form in block 21(b)(1)).
After approximately 15 minutes, the EMS arrived, along with
two
police officers, a fire-rescue squad, and the channel 4
``On-the-Spot''
news team. The guys from the fire department quickly took charge
as this was
obviously a rescue operation. The senior member of the team
discovered
that the device was attached with bolts to the cement wall that
could only
be reached once the device was unlocked. (His discovery was by
means of
tearing apart the device located in the stall next to the one
that I was in.
(Since the value of the property destroyed in his examination was
less than
$50 (my deducible) I did not include it in my claim.) His
partner, who
seemed like an intelligent fellow at the time, came up with the
idea of
cutting the device from the wall with the propane torch that was
in the
rescue truck.
The fireman went to his truck, retrieved the torch, and
commenced
to attempt to cut the device from the wall. Had I been in a state
to think
of such things, I might have realized that in cutting the device
from the
wall several things would also inevitably happen. First, the air
inside of
the device would quickly heat up, causing items inside the device
to suffer
the same effects that are normally achieved by placing things in
an oven.
Second, the metal in the device is a good conductor of heat
causing items
that are in contact with the device to react as if thrown into a
hot skillet
. And, third, molten metal would shower the inside of the device
as the
torch cut through.
The one bright note of the propane torch was that it did
manage to
cut, in the brief time that I allowed them to use it, a hole big
enough for
a small pry bar to be placed inside of the device. The EMS team
then
loaded me, along with the device, into the waiting ambulance as
stated on
your form.
Due the small area of your block 21(a)(3), I was unable to
give a
full explanation of these events, and thus used the word which I
thought
best described my actions that led to my hospitalization.
Sincerely,
S. Anderson
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