A HUNTING TRIP TO FORGET

1:00 A.M. ALARM CLOCK RINGS
2:00 A.M. HUNTING PARTNERS ARRIVE, DRAG YOU OUT OF BED
2:30 A.M. THROW EVERYTHING EXCEPT THE KITCHEN SINK IN
PICKUP
3:00 A.M. LEAVE FOR THE DEEP WOODS
3:15 A.M. DRIVE BACK AND PICK UP GUN
3:30 A.M. DRIVE LIKE CRAZY TO GET TO THE WOODS BEFORE
DAYLIGHT
4:00 A.M. SET UP CAMP, FORGOT THE DANG TENT
4:30 A.M. HEAD INTO THE WOODS
6:05 A.M. SEE 8 DEER
6:06 A.M. TAKE AIM AND SQUEEZE TRIGGER
6:07 A.M. CLICK
6:08 A.M. LOAD GUN WHILE WATCHING DEER GO OVER THE HILL
8:00 A.M. HEAD BACK TO CAMP
9:00 A.M. STILL LOOKING FOR CAMP
10:00 A.M. REALIZE YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE CAMP IS
NOON FIRE GUN FOR HELP, EAT WILD BERRIES
12:15 P.M. RAN OUT OF BULLETS, 8 DEER COME BACK
12:20 P.M. STRANGE FEELING IN STOMACH
12:30 P.M. REALIZE YOU ATE POISON BERRIES
12:45 P.M. RESCUED!
12:55 P.M. RUSHED TO HOSPITAL TO HAVE STOMACH PUMPED
3:00 P.M. ARRIVED BACK IN CAMP
3:30 P.M. LEAVE CAMP TO KILL DEER
4:00 P.M. RETURN TO CAMP FOR BULLETS
4:01 P.M. LOAD GUN, LEAVE CAMP AGAIN
5:00 P.M. EMPTY GUN ON SQUIRREL THAT'S BUGGING YOU
6:00 P.M. ARRIVE AT CAMP, SEE DEER GRAZING AT CAMP
6:01 P.M. LOAD GUN
6:02 P.M. FIRE GUN
6:03 P.M. ONE DEAD PICKUP TRUCK
6:05 P.M. HUNTING PARTNER RETURNS TO CAMP DRAGGING DEER
6:06 P.M. REPRESS STRONG DESIRE TO SHOOT HUNTING PARTNER
6:07 P.M. FALL INTO FIRE
6:10 P.M. CHANGE CLOTHES, THROW BURNED ONES INTO FIRE
6:15 P.M. TAKE PICKUP, LEAVE PARTNER AND DEER IN THE WOODS
6:25 P.M. PICKUP BOILS OVER, HOLE SHOT IN BLOCK
6:26 P.M. START WALKING
6:30 P.M. STUMBLE AND FALL, DROP GUN IN MUD
6:35 P.M. MEET BEAR
6:36 P.M. TAKE AIM
6:37 P.M. FIRE GUN, BLOW UP BARREL PLUGGED WITH MUD
6:38 P.M. CLIMB TREE
9:00 P.M. BEAR DEPARTS, WRAP GUN AROUND TREE
MIDNIGHT HOME AT LAST

SUNDAY --- WATCH FOOTBALL GAME ON TV WHILE SLOWLY TEARING
LICENSE INTO LITTLE PIECES, PLACE IN ENVELOPE AND MAIL TO
GAME WARDEN WITH VERY CLEAR INSTRUCTIONS ON WHERE TO PUT
IT. AUTHOR UNKNOWN

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