MAYO CLINIC

I THOUGHT I'D LET THE CLINIC CHECK ME
CAUSE I DIDN'T FEEL QUITE RIGHT.
ALL THOSE ACHES AND PAINS ANNOYED ME
AND I COULDN'T SLEEP AT NIGHT.

THEY COULD FIND NO REAL DISORDER,
BUT THEY WOULDN'T LEAVE IT REST.
WHAT WITH MEDICARE AND BLUE CROSS,
IT WOULDN'T HURT TO DO THE TEST.

TO THE HOSPITAL THEY SENT ME
THOUGH I DIDN'T FEEL THAT BAD
THEY ARRANGED FOR THEM TO GIVE ME
EVERY TEST THEY HAD

I WAS FLOURSCOPED AND CYSTOSCOPED,
MY AGING FRAME DISPLAYED
STRIPPED UPON AN ICE COLD TABLE
WHILE MY GIZZARDS WERE X-RAYED.

I WAS CHECKED FOR WORMS AND PARACITES,
FOR FUNGUS AND THE CRUD,
WHILE THEY PIERCED ME WITH LONG NEEDLES
TAKING SAMPLES OF MY BLOOD.

DOCTORS CAME TO CHECK ME OVER,
THEY PROBED AND PUSHED AROUND,
AND TO MAKE SURE I WAS LIVING,
THEY WIRED ME UP FOR SOUND.

THEY FINALLY CONCLUDED,
THEIR RESULTS HAVE FILLED A PAGE
WHAT I HAVE WILL KILL ME SOME DAY,
MY AFFLICTION IS OLD AGE.

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