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The following is a letter sent to Miller Brewing Company
earlier this month.
The originator reports he has not yet rec'd a response:
Miller Brewing Company
Milwaukee, Wisconsin 53201
Dear Sir or Madam,
I have been a drinker of Miller beer's for many years
(actually, ever since
that other company donated a big chunk of change to Handgun
Control Inc.
back in the mid 80's). Initially, my beer of choice was Lite, but
sometime
in mid 1990 while in Honduras I switched to MGD smuggled up from
Panama.
Now, for nearly six years, I have been a faithful drinker of
MGD. For these
past years, I have come to expect certain things from Genuine
Draft. I
expect that whenever I see that gold can of MGD, I am about ready
to enjoy a
great, smooth brew. But wait! Sometime around the first of the
year, my
beloved MGD changed colors, so to speak. That familiar gold can
was no
longer gold!
Knowing that I am by nature somewhat resistant to change, I
forced myself to
reserve judgment on the new can design. Gradually, I grew to
appreciate the
new label. That was until about May of this year. That was when I
discovered (empirically) that I really didn't like the new
design. Further
investigation of the cause of my distress resulted in the
following
observations:
1. Your cans are made of aluminum.
2. Aluminum is a great conductor of energy.
3. Your beer is commonly consumed outside, and thus, the
container may be
exposed to sunlight.
4. Sunlight striking the can causes radiant warming of the
surface of the
can.
5. The resultant heat (energy) is transferred through the
aluminum, by
conduction, to the contents of the can (the beer).
6. Warm beer sucks.
This is a process that can be observed in just about any beer.
However, this
process is significantly accelerated in MGD because you painted
the damn can
black!!!
Who was the rocket scientist that designed the new graphic for
the can and
implemented the change right before summer? Granted, this process
may not
be real evident up there in Wisconsin, but down here in Oklahoma
where the
summers are both sunny and hot, this effect is quite a problem.
There's no
telling what the folks in Texas and Arizona are having to put up
with.
Knowing that you would probably not address this issue unless
you had firm
evidence of a problem, I and several other subjects conducted
extensive
experimentation. The results of these experiments are listed
below.
The experiments were conducted over two days on the deck next
to my pool.
The study included seven different types of beer (leftovers from
a party the
previous weekend) that were initially chilled to 38 F and then
left exposed
to sunlight for different lengths of time. These beers were
sampled by the
test subjects at different intervals. The subjects, all normally
MGD
drinkers, were asked at each sampling interval their impressions
of the
different beers.
The length of time between the initial exposure to sunlight
and the point
where the subject determined the sample undrinkable (the
Suckpoint) was
determined. The average ambient temperature for the trials was 95
degrees F.
Beer Type Average Suckpoint (min)
Miller Lite (white can) 6.2
Bud (white can) 5.5
Bud Lite (silver can) 5.2
Ice House (blue and silver can) 4.4
Coors Lite (silver can) 4.1
Miller Genuine Draft (black can) 2.8
Coors (gold can) 0.1
It was evident that the color of the can directly correlates
to the average
suckpoint, except for Coors which was pretty much determined to
suck at any
point.
It is to be hoped that you will consider re-designing your MGD
cans. All
beer drinkers that are not smart enough to keep their beer in the
shade will thank you.
Sincerely,
Bradley Lee
Beer-drinker
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