**** MONTANA DECEMBER ****
****************

DEC 8: 6:00pm
It has started to snow. The first of the season and the wife and I took our
cocktails and sat by the window watching the soft snow flakes drift down
all over the area. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL !!!!
DEC 9:
We awoke to a big beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering the land-
scape. What a fantastic sight! Every tree and shrub covered with a beautiful
white mantel. I shoveled snow for the first time in years and loved it. I
did both our driveway and sidewalk. Later the snowplow came along and covered
up our sidewalk with compacted snow from the street, so I shoveled it again.
DEC 12:
The sun has melted all of our lovely snow. Oh well, I'm sure we will get some
more before the lovely winter is over.
DEC 14:
It snowed 8 inches last night and the temperature dropped to twenty degrees
below zero. Shoveled the driveway and the sidewalk again and the snowplow
came by and did it's trick again.
DEC 15:
Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer so I can drive in the snow. Bought snow
tires for the wife's car.
DEC 16:
Fell on my ass on the ice in the driveway. All that was hurt was my feelings.
DEC 17:
Still cold (below zero in AM) and the icey roads make for very tough driving.
DEC 20:
Had another 14 inches of the white shit last night. More shoveling in store
for me today. That goddam snowplow came by twice.
DEC 22:
We are assured of a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the white shit
fell today and with this freezing weather it won't melt until August. Got
all dressed up to go out and shovel (boots, jumpsuit, heavy jacket, scarf
earmuffs, gloves, etc.) and then I got the urge to go pee!!!!!
DEC 23:
I was going to go ice fishing today but my worms froze and I didn't want the
fish to break their teeth on my bait.
DEC 24:
If I ever catch the son-of-a-bitch that drives that snowplow, I'll drag him
through the snow by the balls. I think he hides around the corner and waits
for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the street 100 miles an
hour and throws snow all over what used to be my lawn.
DEC 25:
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! They predict 28 more inches of the white stuff tonight. Do
they know how many shovels of snow 28 inches is? To hell with Santa, he
doesn't have to shovel that white shit. The snowplow driver came by asking
for a donation. I hit him over the head with the snow shovel.
DEC 26:
We got 28 inches and then some. I must be going snowblind or have a severe
case of cabin fever, because the wife is beginning to look good to me.
DEC 27:
The toilet froze. If you go outside, don't eat the yellow snow.
DEC 28:
The house is for sale. Arizona is waiting.

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