These are all true facts from different computer companies.

1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the "Any" key is.

2. Caller complained that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on.
The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.

3. Caller complained that the system wouldn't read word processing files from his old diskettes.
After trouble-shooting for magnets and failing to diagnose the problem, it was found that the customer labled the diskettes then rolled them into the typewriter to type the labels.

4. Customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes. A few days later a letter arrived fromt he customer along with Xeroxed copies of the floppies.

5. Technician advised this customer to put his troubled floppy back in the drive and close the door. The customer asked the tech to hold on, and was heard putting the phone down, getting up, and crossing the room to close the door to his room.

6. Customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax anything.
After 40 minutes of trouble-shooting, the tech discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the monitor screen and hitting the "send" key.

7. Customer needed help setting up a new program, so a tech suggested he go to the local Egghead. "Yeah, I got me a couple of friends" the customer replied. When told Egghead was a software store, the man said "Oh, I thought you meant for me to find a couple of geeks."

8. Customer called to complain that his keyboard no longer worked. He had cleaned it by filling his tub with soap and water and soaking the keyboard for the day, then removing all the keys and washing them individually.

9. Customer was enraged because his computer had told him he was "BAD AND INVALID". The tech explained that computer's "bad command" and "invalid" responses shouldn't be taken personally.

10. Caller couldn't get her computer to turn on. After ensuring the computer was plugged in, the technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power button. Her response "I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing happens." The foot pedal turned out to be the computer's mouse.

11. Customer called to say her brand new computer wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in, and sat there for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked what happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked "What power switch?"

12. Customer called Tech support because his cup holder on his PC was broken and he was still within his warrenty period, and wanted to know how he could get it fixed. Tech couldn't understand what he meant by his cup holder. All the customer could say to explain what he meant was that the cup holder had a "4X" marked on it. At this point, the Tech rep had to mute the caller, because eh couldn't help his laughter. The caller had been using the load drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder, and snapped it off the drive.

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