Seemingly Endlessly looping humour
A programmer had been missing from work for over a week when
finally someone noticed and called the cops. They went round to
his flat and broke the door down. They found him dead in the
still running shower with an empty bottle of shampoo next to his
body.. Apparently he'd been washing his hair.
The instructions on the bottle said:
Wet hair
Apply shampoo
Lather
Rinse
Repeat
Q: What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and
Civil Engineers?
A: Mechanical Engineers build weapons, Civil Engineers build
targets.
Four men rode in a car: a mechanical engineer, an electrical
engineer, a chemical engineer, and a computer engineer.
The car stalled out.
The mechanical engineer said, "It must be the pistons; let's
repair them and be on our way."
The electrical engineer said, "It has to be the spark plugs;
we'll replace them and be ready to roll in no time at all."
The chemical engineer said. "No, it's got to be bad gas;
we'll flush the system and be on our way."
They turned to the computer engineer. "What do you think we
should do?" they asked.
The computer engineer shrugged and said, "Let's get out of
the car, close the windows, open them again, then get back i
n and try restarting it."
A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning
for a particularly slow group of golfers.
Engineer: What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for
15 minutes!
Doctor: I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude!
Pastor: Hey, here comes the greenskeeper. Let's have a word with
him. [dramatic pause] Hi George. Say, what's with that
group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?
George: Oh, yes, that's a group of blind firefighters. They lost
their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year,
so we always let them play for free anytime.
The group was silent for a moment.
Pastor: That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for
them tonight.
Doctor: Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist
buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them.
Engineer: Why can't these guys play at night?
A doctor, a civil engineer, and a computer scientist were
arguing about what was the oldest profession in the world. The
doctor remarked "Well, in the Bible it says that God created
Eve from a rib taken from Adam. This clearly required surg
ery so I can rightly claim that mine is the oldest profession in
the world."
The civil engineer interrupted and said "But even earlier in
the book of Genesis, it states that God created the order o
f the heavens and the earth from out of the chaos. This was the
first and certainly the most spectacular application of
civil engineering. Therefore, fair doctor, you are wrong; mine is
the oldest profession in the world."
The computer scientist leaned back in his chair, smiled, and said
confidently, "Ah, but who do you think created the chaos?
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