TEXAS QUICK ONESA man and his son recently moved to Texas. One Saturday afternoon they decided to take a walk through the park. During the walk the boy sees 2 cowboys walk by. "Dad, look at those bow-legged bastards!" The father is surprised by this and tells his son that that is not very nice language to use. A few minutes later, 2 more cowboys walk by and again the boy yells, "Dad, look at those bow-legged bastards!" The father, quite upset now turns to his son and says, "I told you not to say that and I do not want to hear it again, or else." Just a few minutes go by and another pair of cowboys walk by and once again the child yells, "Dad, look at those bow-legged bastards!" "Thats it!" the father yells, and takes the child home and locks him in his room with the complete works of Shakespeare. Two weeks later, he lets his son out and notices that he has taken to speaking like Shakespeare wrote. This impressed the father so he decided to take his son out for another walk through the park. As they were walking a pair of cowboys walk past them. The boy turns to his father and says, "Father, what strange men are these, whose balls hang in parentheses?" A guy is on a business trip in Houston and buys a really cool pair of snakeskin boots. He can't wait to show his new boots to his wife. Upon returning from his trip late the next evening, his wife is in the bathroom getting ready for bed. He quickly strips down naked except for his new snakeskin boots and stands in the bedroom to wait for her. As the wife emerges from the bathroom her husband asks, "Well honey, do you notice anything special?" to which the wife replies" Yeah, it's limp!" "It's not limp!" exclaims the husband. " It's admiring my new snakeskin boots!" "Next time buy a hat."
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