Things we would never know were it not for the Movies:
> -- During all police investigations it will be necessary
to visit a
> strip club at least once.
> -- All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits
555.
> -- Most dogs are immortal.
> -- If being chased through town, you can usually take cover
in a
> passing St. Patrick's Day parade - at any time of the year.
> -- All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach
up to the
> armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man
lying
> beside her.
> -- All grocery shopping bags contain at least once stick of
French
> Bread.
> -- It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is
someone in
> the control tower to talk you down.
> -- Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while
scuba
> diving.
> -- The ventilation system of any building is the perfect
hiding place.
> No-one will never think of looking for you in there and you
can travel
> to any other part of the building you want without
difficulty.
> -- If you need to reload your gun, you will always have more
> ammunition -even if you haven't been carrying any before
now.
> -- You're very likely to survive any battle in any war
unless you make
> the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart
back home.
> -- Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German Officer,
it will
> not be necessary to speak the language. A German accent will
do.
> -- If your town is threatened by an imminent natural
disaster or
> killer beast, the mayor's fist concern will be the tourist
trade or
> his forthcoming art exhibition.
> --The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.
> -- A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious
beating but
> will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
> -- If a large panel of glass is visible, someone will be
thrown
> through it before long.
> -- The Chief of Police is always black.
> -- When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you
take out a
> bill - just grab one at random and hand it over. It will
always be
> the exact fare.
> -- Interbreeding is genetically possible with any creature
from
> elsewhere in the universe.
> -- Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a
kitchen at
> night, you should open the fridge door and use that light
instead.
> -- If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate
any strange
> noises in their most revealing underwear.
> -- Word processors never display a cursor on screen but will
always
> say: Enter Password Now.
> -- Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their
family
> every morning even though their husband and children never
have time
> to eat it.
> -- Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames.
> -- The Chief of Police will always suspend his star
detective - or
> give him 48 hours to finish the job.
> -- A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the
size of
> RFK Stadium.
> -- Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.
> -- Although in the 20th century it is possible to fire
weapons at an
> object out of our visual range, people of the 23rd century
will have
> lost this technology.
> -- Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright
and pant.
> -- It is not necessary to say hello or goodbye when
beginning or
> ending phone conversations.
> -- Even when driving down a perfectly straight road it is
necessary to
> turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every
few
> moments.
> -- All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with
large red
> readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.
> -- It is always possible to park directly outside the
building you are
> visiting.
> -- A detective can only solve a case once he has been
suspended from
> duty.
> -- If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone
you bump
> into will know all the steps.
> -- Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the
> communication systems of any invading alien civilization.
> -- It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a
fight
> involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to
attack
> you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner
until you
> have knocked out their predecessors.
> -- When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the
head, they
> will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.
> -- No-one involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion,
volcanic
> eruption or alien invasion will never go into shock.
> -- Police Departments give their officers personality tests
to make
> sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their
total
> opposite.
> -- When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak
English to each
> other.
> -- You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.
> -- Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip
in seconds
> -unless it's the door to a burning building with a child
trapped
> inside.
> -- An electric fence, powerful enough to kill a dinosaur
will cause no
> lasting damage to an eight year old child.
> -- Television news bulletins usually contain a story that
affects you
> personally at that precise moment.
> *****
> God's blessings.
> Shalom!
> Peter
>
> Please send notes for entire list to
<chaptalk@elcasco.elca.org>.
>
>
> ------------------------------
>
> End of CHAPTALK Digest - 7 Dec 1997 to 9 Dec 1997
> *************************************************
>
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