TRUISIMS...

Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire.
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
I'm not cheap, but I am on special this week.
I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
I intend to live forever - so far, so good.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
If you ain't makin' waves, you ain't kickin' hard enough!
Mental backup in progress - Do Not Disturb!
Mind Like A Steel Trap - Rusty And Illegal In 37 States.
Quantum Mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.
Televangelists: The Pro Wrestlers of religion.
The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.
When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
Give a man a free hand and he'll run it all over you.
24 hours in a day ... 24 beers in a case ... coincidence?
Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
Drink 'til she's cute, but stop before the wedding.
Sex is like air; it's not important unless you aren't getting any.
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

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