"Jewish Personal Ads"
(These are real ads)
Jewish Princess, 28, seeks successful businessman of any
major Jewish denomination: hundreds, fifties, twenties. POB 27.
I was reform as an embryo, conservative as a fetus,
orthodox from birth
Seeking same. POB 46.
Your place or mine? Divorced man, 42, with fleishig
dishes only. Seeking woman with nice milchig set. Object macaroni. POB 77.
Orthodox woman with get, seeks man who got get, or can
get get. Get it?
I'll show you mine if you show me yours. POB 72.
Desperately seeking shmoozing! Retired senior citizen
desires female companion 70+ for kvetching, kvelling, krechtzing. Under 30 is also OK. POB
64.
Successful orthodox diamond cutter. Both Shea and Yankee
Stadium. No Shabbos games. Will not mow lawn during s'firah. Seeking wife. POB 41.
Matzo supplier, 53, seeks cloth bag manufacturer. Let's
play "Hide the Afikomen." POB 67
Conservative rabbi, 45, I count women for the minyan and
call them up to the Torah. Seeking female to make aliyah. POB 50.
Sincere rabbinical student, 27. Enjoys Yom Kippur, Tisha
B'av, Taanis Esther, Tzom Gedaliah, Asarah B'Teves, Shiva Asar B'Tammuz. Seeks companion
for living life in the "fast" lane.
Shul gabbai, 36. I take out the Torah Saturday morning.
Would like to take you out Saturday night. Please write. POB 81.
Very pretty, slim, lulav would like to meet fragrant,
squeezable esrog. Let's do hoshanas together. Pitum a must. POB 677.
Attractive Jewish woman, 35, college graduate, seeks
successful Jewish Prince Charming to get me out of my parents' house.
Worried about in-law meddling? I'm an orphan! Write. POB
74.
Nice Jewish guy, 38. No skeletons. No baggage. No
personality.
Shochet, 54, owns successful butcher shop in Midwest.
Doesn't believe women should be treated like a piece of meat. Seeks glatt kosher maydl for
marriage. POB 99.
Divorced Jewish man, seeks partner to attend shule with,
light Shabbos candles, celebrate holidays, build Sukkah together, attend brisses, bar
mitzvahs. Religion not important. POB 658.
Jewish businessman, 49, manufactures Sabbath candles,
Chanukah candles, havdallah candles, Yahrzeit candles. Seeks non-smoker.
Couch potato latke, in search of the right applesauce.
Let's try it for eight days. Who knows? POB 43.
80-year-old bubby, no assets, seeks handsome, virile
Jewish male, under 35. Object matrimony. I can dream, can't I? POB 545.
Jewish male, 34, very successful, smart, independent,
self-made. Looking for girl whose father will hire me. POB 53.
All my friends are doing it, and quite frankly, I feel
left out. Jewish woman, 37, never married. Seeks divorce. POB 655
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