The Wizard of Oz

The Wizard of Oz was taking a trip to Washington because he decided there were some people there who really needed his help. As he stepped away from his hot-air balloon, the first person he met was Al Gore.

"Hello, Al, how are you today?", said the Wizard. "Not so good, Wizard." "Well, is there anything I can do about that?" "It would be really nice if you could give me a heart!" *SHABANG* Al Gore has a heart.

The next person the Wizard met was Newt Gengrich. Newt was just standing around looking lost. "How can I help you, Newt?" asked the Wizard. "Will you give me a brain, Mr. Wizard?" *POOF* Newt Gengrich has a brain.

The last person the Wizard met on his trip was the President.
"Hello Mr. President. Is there anything I can do for you today?"

"Where's Dorothy?"

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Clinton was defending himself to reporters: "I didn't tell her to lie
in that deposition, I told her to lie in that position."

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

My wife ran off with my best friend. ....and I sure do miss him!

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver said, "DAMN!
That's the ugliest damn baby I've EVER seen!"

In a huff, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an
aisle seat near the rear of the bus. She fumed for a few stops and
started getting really worked up. The man seated next to her sensed
that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong.

"The bus driver insulted me!" she fumed.

The man sympathized and said, "Hey! He's a public servant and he
shouldn't say things to insult the passengers."

"You're right!" she said. "I think I'll go back up there and give him
a piece of my mind."

"That's a good idea," the man said. "Here, let me hold your monkey!"

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up!"

After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up.

The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?"

"No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"

_________________________________________________________

top