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Computer Virus Information
Woody Allen Virus: Bypasses the motherboard and turns on a daughter card.
Tonya Harding Virus: Turns your .BAT files into lethal weapons.
Paul Revere Virus: Warns of an impending virus infection: 1 if by LAN, 2 if by C:\.
Hillary Rodham Clinton Virus: Instantly turns 1K of disk space into 1MG.
Bill Clinton Virus: Deletes all of your data, displays the message: "I feel your
pain."
Lorena Bobbit Virus: Turns your hard disk into a 3.5 inch floppy.
Ollie North Virus: Plays a patriotic .WAV while it shreds your files.
Joey Buttafuaco Virus: Only attacks minor files.
Michael Jackson Virus: Preys on child processes.
Ronald Reagan Virus: Saves your data, but forgets where it's stored.
Jane Fonda Virus: Attacks your hard drive's FAT.
Oprah Winfrey Virus: Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB, and then slowly
expands to 300MB.
AT&T Virus: Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.
MCI Virus: Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the AT&T
virus.
Politically Correct Virus: Never calls itself a "virus," but instead refers to
itself as an "electronic micro-organism."
Ross Perot Virus: Activates every component in your system, just before the whole darn
thing quits.
Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus: Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back.
Government Economist Virus: Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software says
everything is fine.
Federal Bureaucrat Virus: Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little units, each of
which does practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most important part of
your computer.
Adam and Eve Virus: Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.
Congressional Virus #1: The computer locks up, screen splits erratically with a message
appearing on each half blaming the other side for the problem.
Congressional Virus #2: Runs every program on the hard drive simultaneously but doesn't
allow the user to accomplish anything.
Airline Virus: You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.
Freudian Virus: Your computer becomes obsessed with its own motherboard. Or becomes very
jealous of the size of your friend's hard drive.
PBS Virus: Your computer stops every few minutes to ask for money.
Jimmy Hoffa Virus: Your programs can never be found again.
LAPD Virus: Claims it feels threatened by the other files on your PC and erases them in
"self-defense."
O.J. Virus: Claims that it did not, could not and would not delete two of your files and
vows to find the virus that did.
Bill Gates Virus: Claims it is part of your operating system, then disables all
non-Microsoft software.
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