"The Chauvinist Manifesto"
"hey folk's I only put this one up, I didn't write it!"

Why did God give men penises?
So we'd have at least one way to shut a woman up.

What's the difference between a paycheck and your dick?
You don't have to beg a woman to blow your paycheck.

What's worse than a male chauvinist pig?
A woman that won't do what she's told.

What's it called when a woman is paralyzed from the waist down?
Marriage.

What are the small bumps around a woman's nipples for?
It's Braille for "suck here."

What does a 75 year old woman have between her breasts that a 25 year old doesn't?
Her navel.

Why do women close their eyes during sex?
They can't stand seeing a man having a good time.

What's the definition of a male chauvinistic pig?
A man who hates every bone in a woman's body, except his own.

If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag you, what have you done wrong?
Made her chain too long.

How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they just sit there in the dark and bitch.

Why are hurricanes normally named after women?
When they come, they're wild and wet, but when they go, they take your house and car with them.

What's the difference between your wife and your job?
After 5 years, your job will still suck.

What's the best thing about a blow job?
The ten minutes of silence.

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