THINK ABOUT IT !


My girlfriend is weird. She asked me, "If you could know how and when you were going to die, would you want to know?" "No," I said. "Okay, then forget it."

I went for a walk last night and she asked me how long I was going to be gone. I said, "The whole time."

Hermits have no peer pressure.

Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories...

There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot....

How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't live there?

The other day I went to a tourist information booth and asked, "Tell me about some of the people who were here last year."

What a nice night for an evening.

I just got skylights put in my place.
The people who live above me are furious.

I live on a one-way dead-end street.

It doesn't matter what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature.

Yesterday, my eyeglass prescription ran out.

I was hitchhiking the other day and a hearse stopped.
I said, "No thanks-I'm not going that far."

I played a blank tape on full volume. The mime who lives next door complained.

Why in a country of free speech, are there phone bills?

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