"WHY MEN CAN'T WIN"

* If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race, you're a male chauvinist

* If you stay home and do the housework, you're a pansy.

* If you work too hard, there is never any time for her.

* If you don't work enough, you're a good-for-nothing bum.

* If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, this is exploitation.

* If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your ass and find something better.

* If you get a promotion ahead of her, that is favoritism.

* If she gets a job ahead of you, it's equal opportunity.

* If you mention how nice she looks, it's sexual harassment.

* If you keep quiet, it's male indifference.
* If you cry, you're a wimp.

* If you don't, you're an insensitive bastard.

* If you make a decision without consulting her, you're a chauvinist.

* If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated woman.

* If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy that's domination.

* If she asks you, it's a favor.

* If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear, you're a pervert.

* If you don't, you're a fag.

* If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape, you're a sexist.

* If you don't, you're unromantic

* If you try to keep yourself in shape, you're vain.

* If you don't, you're a slob.

* If you buy her flowers, you're after something.

* If you don't, you're not thoughtful.

* If you're proud of your achievements, you're up on yourself.

* If you don't, you're not ambitious.

* If she has a headache, she's tired.

* If you have a headache, you don't love her anymore.

* If you want it too often, you're oversexed.

* If you don't, there must be someone else.

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