Refresher Course on Dieting Under Stress

BREAKFAST: grapefruit, 1 slice of wheat toast (dry), 8 oz. Skim milk, and 1 Oreo cookie.

LUNCH: 4 oz. Lean chicken breast, 1 cup steamed spinach and 1 cup herb tea.

MID-AFTERNOON SNACK: Rest of Oreo's in the package, 2 pints of Rocky Road ice cream, 1 jar hot fudge sauce, nuts, cherries, and whipped cream.

DINNER: 2 loaves garlic cheese bread, large mushroom pizza, and 3 Milky Way or snickers bars.

LATE EVENING SNACK: Entire frozen cheesecake eaten directly from the freezer.

RULES FOR THE DIET:

1. If you eat something and no one sees you, it has no calories.
2. If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the diet soda cancels the calories in the candy bar.
3. When you eat with someone else, calories don't count if you eat more than they do.
4. Food used for medical purposes NEVER count, such as hot chocolate, toast, and Sara Lee Cheesecake.
5. If you fatten up everyone around you, you look better.
6. Cookie pieces contain no calories. Breaking causes calorie leakage.
7. Things licked off knives and spoons have no calories if you are in the process of making something. Example: peanut butter on knife while making a sandwich; ice cream on spoon while making a sundae.
8. Movie related foods do not have additional calories because they are part of the entertainment package and not part of one's personal fuel, such as Milk duds, Junior Mints, Red-Hots, and Tootsie Rolls.
9. Foods that have the same color have the same number of calories.

Example: spinach and pistachio ice cream; mushrooms and white chocolate.

Note: Chocolate is a universal color and may be substituted for any other food color.

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