"Almost"

This married man goes to confessional and he tells the priest, "I had an affair with a woman... almost."

The priest says, "What do you mean almost?"

The man says, "Well, we got undressed and rubbed together but then I stopped."

The priest replies, "Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You're not to go near that woman again, now say five Hail Mary's and put $50 in the poor box."

The man leaves confessional, goes over and says his prayers, then walks over to the poor box. He pauses for a moment and then starts to leave.

The priest, who was watching him, quickly runs over to him and says, I saw that, you didn't put any money in the poor box!"

The man replied, "Well Father, I rubbed up against it and you said it was the same as putting it in!"

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