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A Laugh for Today
Bill Clinton is visiting a school. In one class, he asks the students if anyone can
give him an example of a TRAGEDY. One little boy stands up and offers, "If my best
friend who lives next door was playing in the street when a car came along and killed him,
that would be a TRAGEDY". 'I No ," Clinton says, "that would be an
ACCIDENT". A girl raises her hand. "If a school bus carrying fifty
children drome off a cliff, Killing everyone involved...that would be a TRAGEDY."
"I'm afraid not," explains Clinton. "That is what we would call a GREAT
LOSS".
The room is silent; none of the other children volunterred. "What ?" asks
Clinton. "Isn't there any one here who can give me an example of a TRAGEDY?"
Finally, a boy in the back raises his hand. In a timid voice, he speaks, "If an
airplance carrying Bill and Hillary Clinton were blown up by a bomb, THAT would be a
TRAGEDY." "Wonderful!" Clinton beams. "Marvelous! amd can you
tell me WHY that would be a TRAGEDY?" "Well," says the boy,
"because it wouldn't be an ACCIDENT, and it certainly would be no GREAT LOSS!'
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Doris and Fred had started their retirement years and decided to raise
some extra cash by advertising for a lodger in their terrace house.
After a few days, a young attractive woman applied for the room and
explained that she was a model working in a nearby city center studio
for a few weeks and that she would like the room from Mondays to
Thursdays, but would pay for the whole week. Doris showed her the
house and they agreed to start straight away. "There's just one
problem," explained the model. "Because of my job, I have to have a
bath every night, and I notice you don't have a bath." "That's not a
problem," replied Doris. "We have a tin bath out in the yard and we
bring it in to the living room in front of the fire and fill it with
hot water." "What about your husband?" asked the model. "Oh, he
plays darts most weekdays, so he will be out in the evenings," replied
Doris. "Good," said the model. "Now that's been settled, I'll go to
the studio and see you tonight," That evening, Fred dutifully went to
his darts match while Doris prepared the bath for the model. After
stripping off, the model stepped into the bath. Doris was amazed to
see that she has no pubic hair. The model noticed Doris's staring
eyes, so she smiled and explained that it is part of her job to shave
herself, especially when modeling swimmer or underclothes. Later when
Fred returned, Doris related this oddity and he does not believe her.
"It's true, I tell you!" said Doris. "Look, if you don't believe me,
tomorrow night I'll leave the curtains slightly open and you can peek
in and see for yourself. The next night, Fred left as usual and Doris
prepared the bath for the model. As the model stepped naked into the
bath, Doris stood behind her. Doris looked towards the curtains and
pointed towards the model's naked pubic Area. Then she lifted up her
skirt and wearing no panties, pointed to her own hairy mass. Later
Fred returned and they retired to bed. "Well, do you believe me now?"
she asked Fred. "Yes," he replied. "I've never seen anything like it
in my life. But why did you lift up your skirt and show yourself?"
"Just to show you the difference." answered Doris. "But I guess you've
seen me millions of times. " "Yes," said Fred, "I have - but the rest
of the dart team hadn't.
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A couple, age 67, went to the doctor's office. The doctor asked,"What
can I do for you?' The man said, "Will you watch us have sexual
intercourse?" The doctor looked puzzled but agreed. When the couple
had finished, the doctor said, "There is nothing wrong with the way
you have intercourse," and he charged them $32.00 for the office
visit. This happened several weeks in a row. The couple would make an
appointement, have intercourse, pay the doctor and leave. Finally the
doctor asked, Just exactly what are you trying to find out?" The old
man replied, "We're not trying to find out anything. She is married
and we can't go to her house. I am married so we can't go to my house.
The Holiday Inn charges $60.00. The Hilton charges $98.00, we do it
here for $32.00, and I get back $28.00 from Medicare for a visit to
the doctor's office."
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What's six inches long, and two inches wide and satisfies a woman???
money...
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A teacher notices that a little boy at the back of the class is
squirming around, scratching his crotch and not paying attention. She
goes back to find out what's up. He's quite embarrassed and whispers
that he has just recently been circumcised and he's quite itchy. The
teacher has him go down to the principal's office, to phone his mom,
and ask her what he should do about it. He does this and returns z to
the class, sits down in his seat and suddenly, there's a general
commotion at the back of the room. Back down she goes, only to find
him sitting at his desk with his penis hanging out. I thought I told
you to call your mom, she says. I did, he says, and she told me that
if I could stick it out till noon, she'd come and pick me up from school
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