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Virus Alert Lorena Bobbit Virus - Turns your hard disk into a 3.5 inch floppy. Woody Allen Virus - Bypasses the motherboard and turns on a daughter. Tonya Harding Virus - Turns your .BAT files into lethal weapons. Paul Revere Virus - Warns of impending virus infection: 1 if by LAN, 2 if by C:\ Ronald Reagan Virus - Saves your data, but forgets where it's stored. Oprah Winfrey Virus - Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB and then slowly expands to 300MB. AT&T Virus - Every three minutes it tells you what a great service you are getting. Ross Perot Virus - Activates every component in your system just before the whole darn thing quits. Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus - Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back. Government Economist Virus - Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software says everything is fine. Federal Bureaucrat Virus - Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little units, each of which does practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most important part of your computer. Congressional Virus #1 - The computer locks up, screen splits erratically with message appearing on each half blaming the other side for the problem. Congressional Virus #2 - Runs every program on the hard drive simultaneously but doesn't allow the user to accomplish anything. Airline Virus - You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore. PBS Virus - Your computer stops every few minutes to ask for money. Jimmy Hoffa Virus - Your program can never be found again. O. J. Virus - It claims that it did not, could not and would not delete two of your files and vows to find the virus that did it. Ted Turner Virus - Colorizes your monochrome monitor. Texas Virus - Makes sure it is bigger than any other file. |
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