A lady goes to the doctor to see about getting a facelift. "Well," says
the doctor, "I can do the facelift, and then you'll have to come back in
six months for a follow-up." "Oh, no." the woman replies. "I want it
all done in one shot. I don't want to have to come back." The doctor
thinks for a second, then offers, "There is a new procedure where we put
a screw in the top of your head. Then anytime you see wrinkles
appearing, you just give it a little turn, which pulls the skin up, and
they disappear." "That's what I want!" exclaims the lady. "Let's do
that."

Six months later the lady charges into the doctor's office. "Well,
how's the procedure holding up?" the doctor asks. "Terrible!" the lady
bellows. "It's the worst mistake I've ever made." "What's wrong?" asks
the doctor. "Just look at these bags under my eyes!" she hollers.
"Lady," the doctor retorts, "those aren't bags, those are your breasts.
And if you don't leave that screw alone, you're going to have a beard!"