Random Thoughts

I was thinking about old age and decided that it is when you still have
something on the ball but you are just too tired to bounce it.

A lady friend of mine told me that at our age she has found that going bra-
less pulls all the wrinkles out of her face.

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as
they get older. Then it dawned on me...they were cramming for their finals.

You know when people see a cat's litter box, they always say, "Oh, have you
got a cat?" Just once I want to say, "No, it's for company!"

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with little tiny spoons and
forks so I wonder what Chinese mothers use. Perhaps toothpicks?

Employment application blanks always ask who is to be notified in case of
an emergency. I think you should write... A Good Doctor!

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we
supposed to do ... write to these men? Why don't they just put their
pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they
delivered the mail?

The best part of waking up is going back to sleep.

I can't believe that dumb cop gave me a ticket for an open container. He
couldn't even find it till I showed it to him.

At my office we are taking up a collection to send Newt Gingrich on a skiing
trip.

If she was going to marry a football player, I wish Kathy Lee would have
chosen O. J. instead of Frank.

Feel secure all night, sleep with a cop.

Selling tickets to visit a grave? And the Brits think Americans are
shallow and gross.

I bet you have never seen a plumber bite his nails.

top