|
Just a shorty
Subject: Q & A
Q: What do Kodak and condoms have in common?
A: They both capture the moment.
Q. What's the difference between pre-menstrual tension and B.S.E?
A. One's mad cow disease, the other's a cattle disorder.
Q. What's the difference between a mugger and a peeping Tom?
A. A mugger snatches watches.
Q: What's the difference between a circus and a whorehouse?
A. A circus is a cunning array of stunts.
Q. What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A. 45 lbs.
Q. What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
A. 45 minutes.
One sperm to the other, "How far is it to the ovaries?" The other one
says, "Relax. We only just passed the tonsils."
Q. What is it when a man talks nasty to a woman?
A. Sexual harassment.
Q. What is it when a woman talks nasty to a man?
A. $3.99 a minute.
Q. What is the definition of "making love"?
A. Something a woman does while a guy is fucking her.
A midget slides up to a tall blonde and says, "Hey, what do you say to
a little fuck?" She says, "Hello, you little fuck."
Q. How are women and rocks alike?
A. You skip the flat ones.
Q. Did you hear about the new blonde paint?
A. It's not real bright, but it's cheap, and spreads easy.
Q. How can you tell if your wife is dead?
A. The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.
Q. How can you tell if your husband is dead?
A. The sex is the same but you get the remote.
Q. How do we know God is a man?
A. Because if God were a woman, sperm would taste like chocolate.
Q. What's the difference between "Ooooh!" and "Aaahhhh!"?
A. About four inches.
Q. What do you call a chicken in a white shell-suit?
A. An egg
Q. What's the difference between love, true love and showing off?
A. Spit, swallow and gargle
Q. Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
A. Because they taste funny
Q: What's the definition of Australian aristocracy?
A man who can trace his lineage back to his father.
A woman tells her friend she's received a bunch of flowers from her
husband. "I suppose I'll have to spend the entire weekend on my back
with my legs in the air," she says, to which her friend replies, "Why
don't you just use a vase instead?"
Q. What's the difference between an Australian and a yogurt?
A. A yogurt has a living culture.
Q. What's the difference between a 'dog' and a 'fox'?
A. About eight pints of beer.
Q. What has a bunch of balls and screws old ladies?
A. A bingo machine
A boat is sinking fast when the Captain runs on deck and shouts to the
passengers, "Hey, listen, do any of you know any prayers?" A big Texan
steps up and says, "Yes sir, I do." "Oh, good," replies the Captain,
"You'd better get started because we're a life jacket short."
Q. Why does Dr Pepper come in a bottle?
A. Because his wife died.
|