Viagra

Three cheers for Viagra!!!

Thanks to the folks at Pfizer Inc., Americans both male and female are cheering the end of male impotence. And the company's stock is shooting up faster than the male appendages its new product is said to revive. 

Soon phrases like, "This has never happened to me before," "I must be more tired than I thought I was" and the ever-popular, "Oh... wanna watch TV?" will be banished from our collective vocabulary.

What has struck people most about this new drug is how excited woman are about it. Well, there's news for you, ladies: Already development at Pfizer's Male Behavioral Health Laboratory (staffed entirely by female scientists, by the way) are a dozen or so other new drugs which - if perfected and deemed safe for humans - promise to alter your man's chemistry in yet more ways which should suit your fancy.

Here are some of the most promising, courtesy of my super-secret sources inserted deep within the company.

DIRECTRA - a dose of this drug given to men before leaving on car trips caused 72 percent of them to stop and ask directions when they got lost, compared to a control group of 0.2 percent. 

PROJECTRA - Men given this experimental new drug were far more likely to actually finish a household repair project before starting a new one.

CHILDAGRA - Men taking this drug reported a sudden, over-whelming urge to perform more child-care tasks - especially cleaning up spills and "little accidents."

COMPLIMENTRA - In clinical trials, 82 percent of middle-aged men administered this drug noticed that their wives had a new hairstyle. Currently being tested to see if its effects extend to noticing new clothing.

BUYAGRA - Married and otherwise attached men reported a sudden urge to buy their sweeties expensive jewelry and gifts after talking this drug for only two days. Still to be seen: whether the drug can be continued for a period longer than your favorites store's return limit.

NEGA-VIAGRA - Has the exact opposite effect of Viagra. Currently undergoing clinical trials on sitting U.S. presidents.

NEGA-SPORTAGRA - This drug had the strange effect of making men want to turn off televised sports and actually converse with other family members.

FLATULAGRA - This complex drug converts men's noxious intestinal gases back into food solids. Special bonus: Dosage can be doubled for long car rides.

Stranded with Cindy--

A young single guy is on a cruise ship, having the time of his life. On the
second day of the cruise, the ship slams into an iceberg and begins to
sink.

Passengers around him are screaming, flailing, and drowning but our guy
manages to grab on to a piece of driftwood and, using every last ounce of
strength, swims a few miles through the shark-infested sea to a remote
island. Sprawled on the shore nearly passed out from exhaustion, he turns
his head and sees a woman lying near him, unconscious, barely breathing.
She's also managed to wash up on shore from the sinking ship. He makes his
way
to her, and with some mouth-to-mouth assistance he manages to get her
breathing again. She looks up at him, wide-eyed and grateful and says, "My
God, you saved my life!" He suddenly realizes the woman is Cindy Crawford!

Days and weeks go by. Cindy and our guy are living on the island together.
They've set up a hut, there's fruit on the trees, and they're in heaven.
Cindy's fallen madly in love with our man, and they're making passionate
love
morning, noon and night.

Alas, one day she notices he's looking kind of glum. "What's the matter,
sweetheart?" she asks, "We have a wonderful life together, I'm in love
with
you. Is there something wrong? Is there anything I can do?" He says,
"Actually, Cindy, there is. Would you mind, putting on my shirt?" "Sure,"
she
says, "if it will help." He takes off his shirt and she puts it on. "Now
would you put on my pants?" he asks. "Sure, honey, if it's really going to
make you feel better," she says. "Okay, would you put on my hat now, and
draw
a little mustache on your face?" he asks. "Whatever you want, sweetie," she
says, and does. Then he says, "Now, would you start walking around the edge
of the island?" She starts walking around the perimeter of the island. He
sets off in the other direction. They meet up half way around the island a
few
minutes later.

He rushes up to her, grabs her by the shoulders, and says, "Dude! You'll
never believe who I'm sleeping with!"

How Observant are you?--

This is a most unusual paragraph. How quickly can you find out what is so
unusual about it? It looks so ordinary, you'd think nothing was wrong with
it
and in fact, nothing is wrong with it. It IS unusual, why? Study it.
Think about it and you may find out. Try to do it without coaching. If you
work at it for a bit, it will dawn on you. So jump to it! Try your skill
at
figuring it out ! Good Luck - Don't blow your cool !
____________________________________

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There is not one letter E in the whole paragraph!

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