Software, Wife 1.0--

Last year a friend of mine upgraded Girlfriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0
and found that it's now a memory hog leaving very little system
resources for other applications.

He is only now noticing that Wife 1.0 also is spawning
Child-Processes which are further consuming valuable
resources. No mention of this particular phenomena was
included in the product brochure or the documentation, though
other users have informed him that this is to be expected due
to the nature of the application.

Not only that, Wife 1.0 installs itself such that it is always
launched at system initialization where it can monitor all other
system activity. He's finding that some applications such
as PokerNight 10.3, Beerbash 2.5, and Pubnight 7.0 are no
longer able to run in the system at all, crashing the system
when selected (even though they always worked fine before).

At installation, Wife 1.0 provides no option as to the installation
of undesired plugins such as MotherInLaw 55.8 and BrotherInLaw
Beta release. Also, system performance seems to diminish
with each passing day.

Some features he'd like to see in the upcoming Wife 2.0

- A "Don't remind me again" button.

- A Minimize button.

- An install shield feature that allows Wife 2.0 to be installed
with the option to uninstall at any time without the loss of
cache and other system resources.

- An option to run the network driver in promiscuous mode
which would allow the systems hardware probe feature to be much more useful.

I myself decided to avoid all of the headaches associated
with Wife 1.0 by sticking with Girlfriend 2.0. Even here, however,
I found many problems. Apparently you cannot install Girlfriend
2.0 on top of Girlfriend 1.0. You must uninstall Girlfriend 1.0 first.
Other users say this is a long standing bug which I should have
been aware of. Apparently the versions of Girlfriend have
conflicts over shared use of the I/O port.

You'd think they would have fixed that stupid bug by now.
To make matters worse, the uninstall program for Girlfriend
1.0 doesn't work very well leaving undesirable traces of the
application in the system.

Another thing that sucks - all versions of Girlfriend continually
popup little annoying messages about the advantages of
upgrading to Wife 1.0.

-------BUG WARNING------

Wife 1.0 has an undocumented bug. If you try to install
Mistress 1.1 before uninstalling Wife 1.0, Wife 1.0 will delete
MSMoney files before doing the uninstall itself. Then Mistress
1.1 will refuse to install, claiming insufficient system resources.

------ BUG WORKAROUNDS ------

To avoid the above bug, try installing Mistress 1.1 on a
different system and never run any file transfer applications
such as Laplink 6.0. Also, beware of similar shareware
applications that have been known to carry viruses that may
affect Wife 1.0. Another solution would be to run Mistress 1.0
via a Usenet provider under an anonymous name. Here again,
beware of the viruses which can accidentally be downloaded
from the Usenet.

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