How did the blonde explain how his helicopter crashed?

Why did the blonde quit her job as a restroom attendant?
She couldn't figure out how to refill the hand dryer.

How can you tell if a blonde has been using your lawnmower?
The green WELCOME mat is ripped all to shreds.

Three blondes are sitting on a park bench eating ice cream cones. One is sucking hers, one is biting hers, one is licking hers. Which one is married? The one with the wedding ring, YOU SICK-O!

What's the advantage of being married to a blonde?
You can park in handicapped zones.

How can you tell which tricycle belongs to the blonde?
It is the one with the kickstand.

What do you call an all-blonde skydiving team?
A new version of the Lawn Darts game.

Where do you look for blondes' obituaries?
Under "Home Improvements."

Why did the blonde take her new scarf back to the store?
It was too tight.

Why did it take the blonde a whole week to wash three basement windows? It took her six days just to dig the holes to put the ladder in.

Did you hear about the blonde who gave her cat a bath?
He still hasn't gotten all the hair off her tongue.

How does a psychic refer to a blonde?
Light reading.

Did you hear about the blonde who thought she discovered that she had a twin brother?
Shee didn't realize he was looking in a mirror.

Did you hear about the blonde who never learned to waterski?
She couldn't find a lake with a slope.

What do you call a blonde in a leather jacket?
A rebel without a clue!

Why did the blonde only smell good on the right side?
She didn't know where to buy Left Guard!

Why couldn't the blonde bob for apples?
Her sister was using the toilet.

A blonde is going to London on a plane; how can you steal her window seat?
Tell her all seats going to London are in the middle row.

How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
Tell her a joke on Wednesday.

Why did the blonde put her finger over the nail she was hammering?
The noise gave her a headache.

Why don't blondes have elevator jobs?
They don't know the route.

What did the blonde do when he noticed that someone had already written on the overhead transparency?
She turned it over and used the other side.

Did you hear about the blonde who just bought an A.M. radio?
It took her two weeks to figure out that you could play it at night.

Did you hear about the blonde who couldn't wait to see 20,000 leagues under the sea?
She said that she loved baseball, and was surprised that there were so many teams.

Why did the blonde stand in front of a mirror with her eyes closed?
She wanted to see what she looked like asleep.

How many blondes does it take to make a circuit?
Two: one to stand in the bathtub, and another to pass her the blow dryer!

Why do blondes have more fun?
They are easier to keep amused.

What does a postcard from a blonde's vacation say?
Having a wonderful time. Where am I?

Why do blondes have TGIF on their shoes?
Toes go in first.