The Difference...

A woman of 35 thinks of having children. What does a man of 35 think of?
Dating children.

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How can you tell soap operas are fictional?
In real life, men aren't affectionate out of bed.

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What should you give a man who has everything?
A woman to show him how to work it.

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Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
To stop the snoring before it starts.

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Why don't men have mid-life crises?
They stay stuck in adolescence.

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How does a man show he's planning for the future?
He buys two cases of beer instead of one.

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How was Colonel Sanders a typical male?
All he cared about were legs, breasts, and thighs.

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How is being at a singles bar different from going to the circus?
At the circus the clowns don't talk.

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What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

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What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he's God's gift?
Exchange him.

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