Witty Keychain Quotations

You know how those novelty shops (Spencer's, et. al.), as if required by some obscure law, all carry those cutesy keychains with various sayings on them? Well, I happen to know that in your deepest innermost desire, you really wanted a list of those ever so witty sayings. So, without further ado...

I need more money, power, and less SHIT from you people.

We'll get along fine as soon as you realize I'm God.

Discourage inbreeding; ban country music.

Yoo hoo!! Here I am, at the bottom of your purse!

Starlight Starbright where the hell is Mr.Right

To some its a six-pack, to me it's a support Group

I majored in liberal arts, would you like fries w/that.

I majored in philosophy, would you like fries w/that.

I want my man to have a VCR: Very Cute Rear

I have PMS and a gun. Did you have something to say?

I'm 17. Give me your credit cards, give me your keys and get out of my way.

I haven't found Mr Right but i have found Mr Cheap, Mr SLeazy and Mr Wrong

You're just jealous cause the voices talk to me.

It's Miss Bitch to you.

Lost your cat? Look under my tires.

How do you keep an idiot amused? Turn over. . . (on both sides of keychain)

I suffer from PMS... Putting up with Men's Shit

I am so good in bed that when i have sex even the neighbors need a cigarette.

If you're rich, I'm single.

Men suffer from PMS too... Pretending to be Macho Studs

If you shower in your clothes, it shows you're crazy. If you shower nude, it show's your nuts!!!

I'm immature, unorganized, irresponsible, lazy, and LOUD... but I'm FUN.

If you don't like my driving, then get off the sidewalk!

Behind every great man is a great woman, and behind every great woman is some guy staring at her ass!

Bury me upside down so the world can kiss my ass

Birthdays only come once a year... aren't you glad you're not a birthday?

Give me a quarter or I'll touch you!

To some it's half empty, To some it's half full. To me it's time for a beer run!

I am so broke, I can't even pay attention.

I am not a BITCH... I am *the* BITCH.

We'll get along fine as soon as you realize I'm God.

I was put on this planet to make your life miserable.

I'm in touch with my inner bitch.

I am trying to graduate college with a 4.0 (blood alcohol level).

I do what the voices in my head tell me.

Looking for Mr. Right *crossed out* Mr. Wonderful *crossed out* Mr. Coffee!

Heartbreaker, looking for next victim.

In God we trust. All others we monitor.

Not all women are annoying... some are dead.

The nuns made me dress this way.

You! Out of the gene pool!

You must be this tall to ride this ride.

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