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Observations On The Laws Of Nature The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity but not necessarily in that order. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. Money can't buy happiness but it sure makes misery easier to live with. Deja Veu: The feeling that you've heard this BS before. Psychiatrists say that one out of four people are mentally ill. A truly wise man never plays leapfrog: It has recently been discovered that research causes cancer in rats. Always remember to pillage and plunder before you burn. If you are given an open-book exam, you will forget your book. The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was. It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a Warning to others. Paul's Law: You can't fall off the floor. Bill's Law: When you fall, you will most always land on the pocket where you put your keys. Zeke's Law: Never sleep under a tree with your mouth open. The average woman would rather have beauty than brains because the average man can see better than he can think. A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell and make you feel happy to be on your way. Clothes make the man; naked people have little or no influence on society. Vital papers will demonstrate their vitality by moving from where you left them to where you can't find them. Law of Dispersal Probability: Whatever it is that hits the fan will not be evenly distributed. If it is true that we are what we eat, then I must be fast, cheap and easy.
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