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With Viagra such a hit, Pfizer is bringing forth a
whole line of drugs
oriented towards improving the performance of men in today's society..
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DIRECTRA - a dose of this drug given to men
before leaving on car trips caused
72 percent of them to stop and ask directions when they got lost, compared to
a control group of 0.2 percent.
PROJECTRA - Men given this experimental new drug
were far more likely to
actually finish a household repair project before starting a new one.
CHILDAGRA - Men taking this drug reported a
sudden, over-whelming urge to
perform more child-care tasks - especially cleaning up spills and "little"
accidents.
COMPLIMENTRA - In clinical trials, 82 percent of
middle-aged men administered
this drug noticed that their wives had a new hairstyle. Currently being tested
to see if its effects extend to noticing new clothing.
BUYAGRA - Married and otherwise attached men
reported a sudden urge to buy
their sweeties expensive jewelry and gifts after talking this drug for only
two days. Still to be seen: whether the drug can becontinued for a period
longer than your favorite store's return limit.
NEGA-VIAGRA - Has the exact opposite effect of
Viagra. Currently undergoing
clinical trials on sitting U.S. presidents.
NEGA-SPORTAGRA - This drug had the strange
effect of making men want to turn
off televised sports and actually converse with other family members.
FLATULAGRA - This complex drug converts men's
noxious intestinal gasesback
into food solids. Special bonus: Dosage can be doubled for long car rides.
FLYAGRA - This drug has been showing great
promise in treating men with O.F.D.
(Open Fly Disorder). Especially useful for men on Viagra.
PRYAGRA - About to fail its clinical trial, this
drug gave men in the test
group an irresistible urge to dig into the personal affairs of other people.
Note: Apparent overdose turned three test subjects into "special prosecutors."
LIAGRA - This drug causes men to be less than
truthful when being asked about
their sexual affairs. Will be available in Regular, Grand Jury and
Presidential Strength versions.
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