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1. Open a new document in Microsoft Word
2. Type "Unable to follow directions" (without the quotes)
3. Highlight the entire sentence you just typed
4. Click Tools; Thesaurus (or hit shift-F7 to open the thesaurus)
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Top Ten Advertising Slogans Currently Being
Considered by Viagra:
10. "Viagra. The quicker dicker upper"
9. "Here's the beef!"
8. "Get a piece of the rock"
7. "You've come a long way, baby"
6. "Viagra, it plumps when you take 'em"
5. "Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman"
4. "Tastes great, more filling"
3. "Viagra, built ram tough"
2. "Just do her"
And the number one advertising slogan being
considered by Viagra:
1."This is your penis. This is your penis on Viagra. Any questions?"
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This is a cute one…
A modest man was in the hospital for a series of test. One of the last tests has left his
system upset. Upon making several false alarms to the bathroom he decided the latest was
another. But he
completely filled his bed up with human waste and was embarrassed beyond anything he could
possible face.
Losing his presence of mind, he jumped up,
gathered up the bed sheets and threw them out the hospital window.
A drunkard was walking by the hospital when the
sheets landed on him. He started yelling, cussing and swinging his arms which drew
the attention of the security guard.
The security guard asked, "What's going on
here?!?!?"
And the drunk replied, "I just beat the shit
out of a ghost!"
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"If you live to the age of a hundred, you
have it made,... because
very few people die past the age of a hundred." -- George Burns
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