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DUMB QUOTES TO SOME -- PROFOUND WISDOM FOR OTHERS

** Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

**A closed mouth gathers no feet.

** A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.

** A penny saved is ridiculous.

** A penny saved is just another damn thing for the cat to knock off of the dresser.

** All that glitters has a high refractive index.

** Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

** Anarchy is better than no government at all.

** Any small object when dropped will hide under a larger object.

** Be moderate where pleasure is concerned, avoid fatigue.

** Death is life's way of telling you you've been fired.

** Death is Nature's way of saying 'slow down'.

** Don't force it, get a larger hammer.

** Earn cash in your spare time...blackmail friends.

** Entropy isn't what it used to be.

** Fairy tales: horror stories for children to get them used to reality.

** God did not create the world in 7 days. He pulled an all-nighter on the 6th.

** Going the speed of light is bad for your age.

** Herblock's Law: If it's good, they will stop making it.

** History does not repeat itself, historians merely repeat each other.

** It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.

** It works better if you plug it in.

** It's not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere.

** Jury: Twelve people who determine which client has the better lawyer.

** Let not the sands of time get in your lunch.

** Mediocrity thrives on standardization.

** Quoting one is plagiarism. Quoting many is research.

** Reality is the only obstacle to happiness.

** The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.