English the Elastic Language

(Best if you read it out loud.)

Sometimes a person cannot say what's on his mind. The words just won't  come. Or at least, not the right ones. For example .... The following supposedly was nominated "best e-mail of 1997" ( By whom? Who has the time for that?). A telephonic exchange between a hotel guest and room-service, at a hotel in Asia, which was recorded and published in the Far East Economic Review...

Room Service: "Morny. Ruin sorbees."

Guest: "Sorry, I thought I dialled room-service."

Room Service : "Rye..Ruin sorbees..morny! Djewish to odor sunteen??"

Guest: "Uh..yes..I'd like some bacon and eggs."

Room Service: "Ow July den?"

Guest: "What??"

Room Service: "Ow July den?...pry, boy, pooch?"

Guest: "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please."

Room Service: "Ow July dee bayhcem...crease?"

Guest: "Crisp will be fine"

Room Service: "Hokay. An San tos?"

Guest: "What?"

Room Service: "San tos. July San tos?"

Guest: "I don't think so"

Room Service: "No? Judo one toes??"

Guest: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo one toes' means."

Room Service: "Toes! toes!...why djew Don Juan toes? Ow bow singlish mopping we bother?"

Guest: "English muffin!! I've got it! You were saying 'Toast.' Fine.
Yes, an English muffin will be fine."

Room Service: "We bother?"

Guest: "No. . . just put the bother on the side."

Room Service: "Wad?"

Guest: "I mean butter. . .just put it on the side."

Room Service: "Copy?"

Guest: "Sorry?"

Room Service: "Copy...tea...mill?"

Guest: "Yes. Coffee please, and that's all."

Room Service: "One Minnie. Ass ruin torino fee, strangle ache, crease
baychem, tossy singlish mopping we bother honey sigh, and
copy....rye??"

Guest: "Whatever you say."

Room Service: "Tendjewberrymud."

Guest : "You're welcome."

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