A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating, but
will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

A mother was telling her little daughter what her own childhood was like: "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods." The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this in. At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly and for the same reason.