Speakin' Southern - Expresshuns

Nervous az a long-tailed cat in a room full uv rockin' chairs.

Teeth so crooked he cud eat corn on the cob thru a picket fence.

Steppin' high like a roostah in deep mud.

Grinnin' like a baked possum.

So hongry mah belly thinks mah throats bin cut.

Buzy as a bumblebee in a bucket uv tar.

So lucky he cud fall in a bucket uv slop 'n cum out smellin' like a rose.

Her face looks like a dime's worth uv dogmeat.

Croocked az a dawg's hind laigs.

Battered her eyes like a toad in hailstorm.

She wuz at him like a bitin' sow.

So suspishus he'd look a gift horse in the mouth.

Too lazy to yell 'Sueee' in a pig pen.

Az hard to do az nailin' a raw aig to the wall.

Run az fast az a scalded dawg.

Move az slow az a crippled turtle.

Knive's so dull thet it wouldn't cut hot buttah.

Happy az a full hawg in a mudhole.

So ugly she cud bluff a buzzard off a meat wagon.

Sharp az a mothah-in-law's tongue.

Az plentiful az fleas on a dawg's back.

Az hot az a sinnah at a prayah mettin' in July.

Speakin' Suthern - dictionary

Jist a fuh definitshuns

Air (are) - - - - - Air yuh pullin' mah laig again?

Beckon (food frum a hawg) - - - - - To cumfix mah beckon 'n aigs fur supper.

Cawk (a stopper) - - - - - Yuh'd bettah put thet cawk back in the whiskey
jug.

Doe (bisgit material) - - - - - Mama throwed the braid doe at him.

Far (sump'n whut burns) - - - - - Whin hiz britches cot on far.

Groan (gittin' oldah) - - - - - Yawl's chillun is gittin' groan

Hep (assistunce) - - - - - Git hep whin papa fell in the well.

Injun (whut runs a car) - - - - - Rite thru mah car injun.

Juice (lectricity) - - - - - Yankees gits theah juice thru wires!

Luck (use yo eyes) - - - - - Cauz he didn't luck out fur the revanewers.

Mint (wuz goin' to) - - - - - He robbed the stow 'n he mint to git away.

Owah (mine 'n yoahs) - - - - - Mah pappa will skin owah hides if'n
(time of nite) - - - - - - - we don't git back home at a decunt owah.

Peahs (seems like) - - - - - Cauz she peahs to be bettah.

Rite Smart (havin' brains) - - - - - Clod wuz rite smart 'n predicted rain.

Shares (scissor like) - - - - - A haircut wid dull shares.

Tar (ex-zausted) - - - - - Sam seems to tar mitey fast.

Wrench (las washin') - - - - - Git sum hot watah to wrench hiz clothes in.

Yore (singular of yawl's) - - - - - Wurked yore pants off.

Zat (a questshun) - - - - - Ah didn't wait to ask, "whos zat?"

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