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Dolphins Quarterback Jimmy Johnson has put together the perfect Dolphins team for '98. The only thing he's missing is a good quarterback to replace the injured Dan Marino. He has scouted all the colleges, and even the high schools, but; can't seem to find a ringer quarterback that will ensure a Super Bowl win. Then one night, while watching CNN, he sees a war zone in Palestine. In the background, out of the corner of his eye, he spots a young Israeli soldier with a truly incredible arm. First, he throws a hand grenade straight into a 15th story window over 200 yards away -- kA- BOOM! Next, he throws another hand grenade into a group of about 10 soldiers a good 110 yards away -- ka- BLOOEY! Then, a car passes going 90 miles an hour-bulls-eye! Another grenade right into the barely open window. "I've got to get this guy," Jimmy says to himself. "He has the perfect arm!" So he brings him to the states and teaches him the great game of football. Predictably, the young man breaks all NFL records for completed passes, accuracy, and touchdowns. The Dolphins go on to handily win the Super Bowl. The young Israeli is lionized as the Great Hero of Super Bowl XXXV and when Jimmy asks him what he wants, all the young man wants to do is call his mother. Jimmy arranges for the call and hands the phone to his young quarterback: "Mom," the young man says into the receiver, "I just won the Super Bowl!" "I don't want to talk to you," the old woman says. "You deserted us. You're no longer my son." "I don't think you understand, mother," the young man pleads. "I just won the greatest sporting event in the world! I'm in the middle of thousands of adoring fans." "No, let ME tell YOU," the mother implores. "At this very moment, there
are gun shots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were
beaten within an inch of their life last week, and this week your sister was attacked in
broad daylight...." The old lady pauses, in |
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