Windows 98 Recall

This could be important in the operation of your personal computer. Be sure you get the correct edition !!!!

It has come to our attention that a few copies of the South Carolina edition of windows 98 may have accidentally been shipped outside SC. If you have one of the SC editions you may need some help understanding the commands. The SC edition may be recognized by looking at the opening screen.

It reads "WINDERS 98" with a background picture of the General Lee imposed on a Confederate flag.

It is shipped with a Daisy Duke screen saver.
Also note the Recycle Bin is labeled Outhouse.
My Computer is called This Infernal Contraption.
Dialup Networking is called Good Ol' Boys.
Control Panel is known as the Dern Dashboard.
Hard Drive is referred to as 4 wheel drive.
Floppies are them little ole plastic disc thangs.

Other features:
Instead of a error message you get a winder covered with a garbage bag and duct tape.
OK = ats aww-right cancel = hail no
reset = awa shoot yes = shore
no = Naaaa find = hunt-fer it
go to = over yonder back = back yonder
help = hep me out here stop = ternit off
start = crank it up settings = sittins
programs = stuff at does stuff documents = stuff I done done

Also note that winders 98 does not recognize capital letters or punctuation marks. 
Some programs that are exclusive to Winders 98:

tiperiter........................A word processor
colering book...............a graphics program addin
mershene....................calculator
outhouse paper ...........notepad
jupe-box .....................CD Player
iner-net........................Microsoft Explorer
pichers........................A graphics viewer
IRS.............................M/S accounting software
IRS2...........................M/S accounting software with hidden files
coon dog.....................American kennel club records
fishin...........................Bass Anglers Sportsman Society records.
NRA............................National Rifle Association
shot gun .....................Remington Arms price list
riffel............................Winchester price list
pisstel........................Smith & Wesson price list
truck..........................Ford &Chevrolet dealers in SC. by zip code
house........................Nearest Mobile home repair service by zip code
car ...........................same as truck just need two list in South
Caroline
cuzzins.....................family history usually a 3 meg
file tax records...........usually an empty file
shells........................ammunition inventory another 3 meg file
bud...........................list of Budwiser dealers by zip code
rasin.........................NASCAR racing schedule includes list of TV stations that carry the race car n truck
Parts.........................nearest Junk yard by zip code
doc .........................veterinarians by zip code

We regret any inconvenience it may have caused if you received a copy of the SC edition. You may return it to Microsoft for a replacement version.

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