Actual Door Signs:

On an Electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts."

Outside a Radiator Repair Shop: "Best place in town to take a leak."

In a Nonsmoking area: "If we see you smoking we will assume you are on fire
and take appropriate action."

On Maternity Room door: "Push, Push, Push."

On a Front Door: "Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian except the dog."

At an Optometrist's Office: "If you don't see what you're looking for,
you've come to the right place."

On a Scientist's door: "Gone Fission."

On a Taxidermist's window: "We really know our stuff."

On another Butcher's window: "Pleased to meat you."

At a Used Car Lot: "Second Hand cars in first crash condition."

On a fence: "Salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive."

At a Car Dealership: "The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car
payment."

Outside a Muffler Shop: "No appointment necessary. We'll hear you coming."

Outside a Hotel: "Help! We need inn-experienced people."

In a Dry Cleaner's Emporium: "Drop your pants here."

On a desk in a Reception Room: "We shoot every 3rd salesman, and the 2nd one
just left."

In a Veterinarian's waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"

At the Electric Company: "We would be delighted if you send in your bill.
However, if you don't, you will be."

In a Beauty Shop: "Dye now!"

On the door of a Computer Store: "Out for a quick byte."

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