Rules and Regulations for Teachers in 1872

1. Teachers each day will fill lamps, clean chimneys, and trim wicks.
2. Each teacher will bring a bucket of water and scuttle of coal for the
day's sessions.
3. Make your pens carefully: you may whittle nibs to the individual taste of
pupils.
4. Men teachers may take one evening each week for courting purposes, or two
evenings a week if they go to church regularly.
5. After 10 hours in school, the teachers spend the remaining time reading
the Bible or other good books.
6. Women teachers who marry or engage in unseemly conduct will be dismissed.
7. Each teacher should lay aside from each pay a goodly sum of his earnings
for his benefit during his declining years so that he will not become a
burden on society.
8. Any teacher who smokes, uses liquor in any form, frequents pool or public
halls, or get shaved in a barber shop will give good reason to suspect his
worth, intentions, integrity and honesty.
9. The teacher who performs his labors faithfully and without fault for five
years will be given an increase of 25 cents per week in his pay, providing
the Board of Education approves.

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DRINKS FOR
ALL MY
FRIENDS
A drunk walks into a bar and says to the bartender (with a drunken slur),
"bartender, buy everyone in the house a drink, pour yourself one, and give
me the bill."
So, the bartender does just that and hands the man a bill for $37.00. The
drunk says, "I haven't got it."
The bartender slaps the guy around a few times then threw him out into the
street.
The very next day the same drunk walks into the bar and once again says
(with a drunken slur), "Bartender, buy everyone in the house a drink, pour
yourself one, and give me the bill."
The bartender looks at the guy and figures to himself that he can't possibly
be stupid enough to pull the same trick twice, so he gives him the benefit
of the doubt, pours a round of drinks for the house, has a drink himself and
hands the drunk a bill for $37.00.
The drunk says, "I haven't got it".
The bartender can't believe it, so
he picks the guy up, beats the
living day lights out of him, then
thows him out into the street.

The next day the same drunk walks back into the same bar and says (with a
drunken slur), "bartender, buy every one in the house a drink, give me the
bill." In disgust the bartender says, "what, no drink for me this time?"
The drunk replies, "No, you get
violent when you drink."

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