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Impersonating a Lawyer
***A true story: A convicted con man was recently found to be impersonating a
lawyer in New York City.
To which one judge remarked, "I should have suspected he wasn't a lawyer. He was
always so punctual and polite."
***Did you hear that the Post Office had to recall its series of stamps depicting famous
lawyers?
People were confused about which side to spit on.
***A Mexican bandit made a specialty of crossing the Rio Grande from time to time and
robbing banks in Texas. Finally, a reward was offered for his capture, and an enterprising
Texas Ranger decided to track him down.
After a lengthy search, he traced the bandit to his favorite cantina, snuck up behind him,
put his trusty six-shooter to the bandit's head, and said, "You're under arrest. Tell
me where you hid the loot or I'll blow your brains out."
But the bandit didn't speak English, and the Ranger didn't speak Spanish. Fortunately, a
bilingual lawyer was in the saloon and translated the Ranger's message. The terrified
bandit blurted out, in Spanish, that the loot was buried under the oak tree in back of the
cantina.
"What did he say?" asked the Ranger.
The lawyer answered, "He said 'get lost, you turkey. You wouldn't dare shoot
me.'"
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