Lost Fingers
Mitchell's working at the lumberyard">
Lost Fingers Mitchell's working at the lumberyard, pushing a tree through
the buzz saw, and accidentally shears off all ten of his fingers. He manages to drive
himself the nearest hospital's emergency room. The doctor says, "Oh my God! Reattachment surgery on so
many lost digits has never been attempted before! But don't worry, I'm the best surgeon in
the hospital, give me the fingers, and I'll see what I can do." Mitchell says, "I haven't got the fingers." The doctor says, "What do you mean, you haven't got the
fingers? It's 1998. We've got microsurgery and all kinds of incredible techniques. I
could have put them back on and made you like new. Why didn't you bring Mitchell says, "Well, hell, Doc, I couldn't exactly pick
the freakin' things up!"
the fingers?"