Bounce Fabric Softner

The many Uses of Bounce Fabric Softener Sheets

Repel mosquitoes
Tie a sheet of Bounce through a belt loop when outdoors during mosquito season.

Eliminate static electricity from your television screen
Since Bounce is designed to help eliminate static cling, wipe your television screen with a used sheet of Bounce to keep dust from resettling.

Dissolve soap scum from shower doors
Clean with a used sheet of Bounce.

Freshen the air in your home
Place an individual sheet of Bounce in a drawer or hang one in the closet.

Prevent thread from tangling
Run a threaded needle through a sheet of Bounce to eliminate the static cling on the thread before sewing.

Eliminate static cling from pantyhose
Rub a damp, used sheet of Bounce over the hose.

Prevent musty suitcases
Place an individual sheet of Bounce inside empty luggage before storing.

Freshen the air in your car
Place a sheet of Bounce under the front seat.

Clean baked-on food from a cooking pan
Put a sheet in the pan, fill with water, let sit overnight, and sponge clean. The anti-static agents apparently weaken the bond between the food and the pan while the fabric softening agents soften the baked-on food.

Eliminate odors in wastebaskets
Place a sheet of Bounce at the bottom of the wastebasket.

Collect cat hair
Rubbing the area with a sheet of Bounce will magnetically attract all the loose hairs.

Eliminate static electricity from venetian blinds
Wipe the blinds with a sheet of Bounce to prevent dust from resettling.

Wipe up sawdust from drilling or sand papering
A used sheet of Bounce will collect sawdust like a tack cloth.

Eliminate odors in dirty laundry
Place an individual sheet of Bounce at the bottom of a laundry bag or hamper.

Deodorize shoes or sneakers
Place a sheet of Bounce in your shoes or sneakers overnight so they'll smell great in the morning.

Ten things that Piss Me Off-

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time. I know where my watch is buddy, where is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the bathroom is?

2. The Pillsbury doughboy is way too happy considering he has no penis.

3. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.

4. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Get out! What good is a cake you can't eat? What, should I eat someone else's cake instead?

5. When people say "It's always in the last place you look". Of course it is. Why would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?

6. When people say, while watching a movie "Did you see that?" No dummy, I

paid $7.50 to come to the theatre and stare at the ceiling up there. What did you come here for?

7. The radio ad "Hi, I'm Jeff Healey from the Jeff Healey Band. Don't drink and drive. I don't". Well, I hope you don't drive sober either Mr. Healey. You're blind!

8. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a choice, did ya there buddy?

9. When something is "new and improved", which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it.

10. When a cop pulls you over and then asks if you know how fast you were going? You should know, you pulled me over.

What to do--

There was a young man who was so well endowed that it was bothering his knee. Three doctors and one nurse were in the operating room to remedy the situation. The first doctor said, "We'll just take a big hunk off the end."

They discussed it and decided that would affect his sensitivity. The second doctor said, "We'll just take a big hunk out of the middle of it." They discussed this, and decided it would change the texture and feel of it.

The third doctor said, "We'll just take a big hunk off the base of it." They discussed this, too, and agreed that it might give him erection problems.

The doctors heard a sniffling, and looked over at the nurse who had tears running down her cheeks. The nurse cried, "Can't we just make his legs longer?"

Just Lucky-

Johnny and Susie, each five years old, decided to get married. So Johnny went to Susie's dad to ask for her hand in marriage.

"Where will you live?" asked Susie's dad, thinking this is cute.

"Well," said Johnny, "I figured I could just move into Susie's room. It's plenty big for both of us."

"And how will you live?" "I get $5 a week allowance and Susie gets $5 a week allowance. That's should be enough."

Getting exasperated since Johnny seems to know all the answers, Susie's dad asked, "And what if little ones come along?"

"Well," said Johnny, "we've been lucky so far."