BEER HORMONES

**** SCIENCE NEWS FLASH **** from VIRGINIALT

Last week scientists in the USA revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones. To prove their theory, they fed 100 men 12 pints of beer and observed that 100% of them gained weight, started talking nonsense and couldn't drive.

**** UPDATE TO SCIENCE NEWS FLASH **** from VIRGINIALT

It has been confirmed that beer actually contains small traces of MALE hormones NOT female hormones. To prove this theory, the scientists fed 100 women 12 pints of beer and observed that these women became obsessed with sex but fell asleep long before they could please their partners.

Guy goes to a doctor and says he has a problem with sex. "I think my dick is too small." He says. The doctor asks him which drink he prefers. "Well, Lager."

He replies quite bemused. "Aaaahhh. There's your problem, It shrinks things those Lagers. You should try drinking Guinness. That makes things grow."

Two months later the chap returns to the doctor with a big smile on his face. He shakes the doctor by the hand and thanks him. "I take it you now drink Guinness?" asked the doc.

"No," replies the man "but I've got the wife on Lager!"

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